


A Question of Faith

by Annika_Ecrit



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2020-12-22 15:21:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21078992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annika_Ecrit/pseuds/Annika_Ecrit
Summary: Annette starts to have doubts about the church. She doesn't know where to turn or who to trust. The church has eyes and ears everywhere and no one in the Blue Lions seems to share her doubts. Except for one person...((Minor time skip spoilers! I'll update the characters, tags, and spoilers as they apply.))





	1. The Decision

Annette sat in a garden. A lush, beautiful garden filled with flora from all over the Kingdom. The vibrant blooms were dappled with sunlight shining through the branches of the trees that stretched overhead. It was gorgeous, and completely at odds with the dour expression that donned the redhead’s face.

The tips of her fingers brushed across the bench beneath her, tracing tiny patterns on the stone surface. She was...conflicted, to say the least. For the first time ever, she was beginning to have her reservations about the church. For as long as she could remember, she had been devoted to the Church of Seiros. She held their core beliefs so strongly that she based her entire life around their teachings. Standing up for others, trusting in the goddess, always doing what’s right. But...this, what they were doing, was it really what’s right?

Dimitri had always been an eager, kind individual when they were growing up. He believed in their cause and in protecting the Kingdom. He tried his hardest to study and train at the academy. In the five years since they’d left Garreg Mach though, something had changed about him. He kept to himself now, becoming less social and more paranoid, suspicious of those around him. There was a darkness to him. And Rhea...well she had only encouraged these tendencies. Something seemed off about her too. She had demanded the execution of heretics in the past but it was becoming more and more common to hear of it happening. Hardly a day went by that Rhea didn’t send someone to their death. Of course she claimed that it was necessary, all while shaking her head and lamenting how it was “such a shame they’ve been led astray.” Everyone shook their heads along with her and prayed that the goddess would take mercy on their souls. None of them seemed alarmed at all about the number of people who went to their deaths this way. None of them, except for Annette.

“Annette?”

She nearly jumped, pulled out of her reverie by a familiar voice calling her name. Glancing up, she met the gaze of her friend, Mercedes, standing before her. “Oh! Mercie!” Her face melted into a relaxed smile. “You scared me.”

“I’m so sorry, Annie! You just looked so upset. Is everything alright?”

“Well…” Annette hesitated. What could she say? Mercedes was just as devoted as her, moreso even. Despite her anxiety at the prospect of telling someone, if she could trust anyone it was Mercie, right? The kind look in her eyes, the gentle smile on her face, the slight concerned wrinkle on her forehead just between her eyebrows...it was all so familiar, and so comforting. Some of the tension left Annette’s body as she released the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Do you..want to sit?”

Mercedes nodded briefly before settling down onto the bench next to her. She waited patiently for Annette to continue, still observing her with that soft expression on her face.

“I’m...well I’m sort of conflicted.”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you ever questioned something you once believed in so fervently?”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

Annette took a breath, trying to find the right words. “Everything that’s happened since we left the monastery just feels...off. I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“This war has been difficult on all of us. It’s okay to be upset Annie.”

“That’s not really what I mean.”

Mercedes tilted her head to the side slightly at Annette’s words, her brows drawing together. She looked even more concerned than before. It was hard to look at her with that expression on her face and so Annette’s eyes shifted to the ground. She found herself unable to keep still, and one foot dragged through the dirt beneath her, drawing a small circle. “Have you ever wondered if you were doing the right thing?”

When Mercedes spoke again, her tone was soft. “Occasionally, yes. When I’ve doubted myself I have always turned to the goddess for direction.”

“But what if...what if what you doubted had to do with the goddess.”

“Annie…” Mercedes paused, “are you doubting the goddess?”

“No! I mean...not exactly.” The words all came tumbling out, faster than she could stop them. “But everything the church is doing, executing so many people and waging a war in the goddess’ name, is it really the right thing to do? Would the goddess really want this? Would she want so many to die?”

The silence in the wake of her questions seemed to stretch on for hours.

When Mercedes finally spoke her tone was somewhat colder, more detached. “Are you questioning the archbishop?”

“No I…” Annette paused, biting her lip nervously, “I don’t know.”

The rustling of clothes next to her as Mercedes stood again drew Annette’s eyes back her friend. Her gaze was pleading as her eyes probed Mercedes’ face, searching for any hint of doubt that would reflect her own...but she could find none.

“Perhaps you should pray on this Annette. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that you were questioning Rhea’s decisions.”

Hearing Mercedes call her by her full name instead of the affectionate nickname that she’d become so accustomed to after all these years was like a slap to the face. Annette was left speechless, unable to respond as her friend turned and walked away, leaving her alone in the beautiful garden that suddenly felt colder than when she had entered. If her best friend wouldn’t listen to her and support her concerns then who would? Telling anyone else of her doubts would surely only result in them being passed on to Rhea. She shivered at the thought. She knew what Rhea did to people who spoke out against the church.

_ I wish the professor was here...she’d know what to do. _

But her professor wasn’t here. She would have to make this decision herself.

_ I can’t stay here. _

The words that echoed in her head surprised her, but as soon as they came to her she knew that it was true. She couldn’t stay. Not when she had so many doubts. Icy fingers crept down Annette’s spine as she considered what the archbishop would do to her if she found out. She wouldn’t get a mere slap on the wrist, of that she was certain.

Annette stood, her legs as shaky as her thoughts. She knew what she had to do.


	2. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annette prepares for a long and difficult journey, only to be found out by someone unexpected.

She would have to wait until nightfall. Her only hope of leaving without anyone knowing would be under the cover of darkness. Once she had made her decision she started going through a mental checklist of what she would need. It kept her focused and stopped her from being paralyzed at the enormity of what she was about to do.

After the long trek from Garreg Mach back to the kingdom, she was at least somewhat acquainted with how long her trip would be and what she would need to take with her.

Bread. Fruit. Cheese. Water.

She had taken all of these from the kitchen, hiding them in her pockets after offering to take over the cooking duties for the night. Meat would spoil too quickly, and this would be a long trip.

After packing all of the food in her knapsack, along with some clothes, she paced nervously around her small room, waiting for night to fall. She had double and triple checked that she had everything she would need but she couldn’t seem to sit still. Every part of her was on edge. This was the most terrifying thing she had ever done. It went beyond fighting and killing on the battlefield, which made her sick enough already. But this...this was something entirely different. She was betraying everything she believed in. The church, the archbishop, the Kingdom of Faerghus...and her friends.

Her stomach churned at the thought. She knew that leaving was her only hope to escape the church, and Rhea, but the prospect of leaving her friends behind was so painful she could hardly stand it.

A quiet rap on her door startled her and sent her nerves into overdrive.

Her thoughts swirled, her eyes glued to the door. Who could possibly be knocking on her door at this hour? The sun was just slipping behind the mountains, the dusk dwindling and drawing night ever nearer. Surely Mercedes hadn’t told anyone about their conversation earlier, right? She was so close...would she be stopped before she could even take the first step on her journey?

She made her way to the door, tentatively putting her hand on the knob and taking a deep breath to steady herself. She had to appear calm, collected. No one could know what she was about to do. She pushed the door open, surprised to find an ashen-haired boy standing before her.

“Ashe? What...what are you doing here?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to have some tea with me.” His brows pulled together, a look of concern slipping onto his face. It was not unlike the one that had adorned Mercedes’ face just a few hours earlier. “Are you alright? You look a bit pale.”

“Of course. I’m just tired.” Annette had never been a good liar, and a single raised eyebrow showed clearly that Ashe wasn’t fooled. He was perhaps too good at reading others. Annette swallowed, trying to get past the hard lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. As much as she disliked lying to her friends, she didn’t really have a choice at the moment. She put on a smile, aware that it probably looked a bit forced. “I appreciate the offer but I think I’m going to just go to sleep early.”

Ashe said nothing, looking her over with that probing gaze of his. She could only hope that he wouldn’t suspect her of hiding anything major. His eyes slid past her, focusing on something behind her.

“Annette, are you...going somewhere?”

Her heart pounded in her chest at his words. How? How could he possibly know that she-

_ The knapsack. _

It was still sitting on her bed, a glaring sign of her guilt. She cursed herself mentally for not thinking to hide it before answering the door. What could she possibly say? The evidence was right there, impossible to deny.

Her voice caught in her throat, unable to form any words that could explain it away.

“Annette…?” His voice, so full of concern and understanding, broke through her carefully constructed lie.

“Don’t...please don’t tell anyone…” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. He was one of the most compassionate people she had met and all she could do now was beg and hope he would take pity on her.

“I won’t, I swear.” His piercing emerald eyes were on hers again. His gaze was hard, resolute. “Please, just tell me what’s going on.”

She nodded, his promise easing some of her fears. She couldn’t hope that he would understand, but maybe he could be trusted to at least keep her secret.

She stepped to the side, a wordless offer to enter her room. He did so, accepting her silent invitation. She closed the door quietly behind him, pausing a moment to collect herself before turning to face him.

He waited patiently, making no attempt to push or rush her to speak. His expression was so earnest, and it took her some time before she could find her voice again.

“I have to leave.”

“Why?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? Why? He couldn’t possibly understand, but something about the way he looked at her made it impossible to lie. Her gaze dropped to the ground.

“I can’t-” She inhaled a sharp breath, “I can’t stay here when I no longer believe that what we’re doing is right.” His silence was all the encouragement she needed to press on. “Everything the church is doing...executing innocent people and waging this war that only brings death and destruction...it’s wrong. I can’t just stand by and watch while the church commits these...these atrocities!” Her hands shook and she balled them at her sides in an attempt to stop it.

“You’re right.”

Of all the things she expected to hear, this was not one of them. Her head snapped up, her eyes searching his face for any hint that he might be lying. She was speechless. Was it possible that he actually agreed with her?

“The church has become corrupted.” A shadow of pain crossed his face, just quick enough that she couldn’t be sure it had really been there at all. “Lonato taught me about the church and the goddess. About the strong ideals they held and how I should always hold onto those ideals myself. But this...this is not the church I grew up believing in.”

The wave of relief that washed over Annette was so strong that her knees nearly buckled beneath the weight of it. Someone felt the same way. _ Ashe _ felt the same way. This was more than she could have hoped for.

Of course, thinking about it now, she should have expected that he might feel the same. After all, his adoptive father, Lord Lonato, had been one of the “heretics” that the church had executed in the name of the goddess. Always in the name of the goddess.

“Where are you going?”

Annette hadn’t really thought about it...but as soon as he asked an answer tumbled from her lips, unbidden.

“To the Adrestian Empire. I’m going to join Edelgard.”

This time it was Ashe who was speechless. His eyes widened with surprise, but Annette didn't backtrack or look away. To leave the kingdom was one thing, but to join their enemy? The one responsible for the war? It was treason. But...it was also her only option. Edelgard had always opposed the church, often claiming in private that it had been corrupted from what it once was. Annette had brushed it off at the time, assuming that it was simply her upbringing in the Adrestain Empire that led to her distrust of the church. Now though...she thought that Edelgard had been onto something the whole time.

The silence between them stretched on for some time before Ashe cleared his throat and raised a hand to rub awkwardly at his neck.

“Would you perhaps consider...allowing someone to join you?”

“Wh-what?” Annette stumbled over her words, the shock at his question coming through in her tone. “A-are you...asking to come with me?”

“Well I mean, it’ll be pretty dangerous travelling on your own.”

Annette couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Why? Why would you want to come with me?”

Ashe sighed, a small slightly rueful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Isn’t it obvious? I share your doubts about the church. I...I don’t think I can stay here either.”

Annette blinked in surprise as her thoughts swirled. He wanted to join her? He wanted to leave the kingdom too? Was he really asking to go with her?

“I promise I won’t be a burden. I can even help you hunt!”

She had prepared for a solo trip...but how could she say no? The thought of someone else travelling with her _ did _ make her feel a bit better. It was safer, sure, but really what mattered to her was...well she wouldn’t be alone.

“Ashe I-” relief colored her tone and a tiny smile crossed her face, nothing like the forced one from before- “I’d be happy to have you along.”


	3. The Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their decision made, Ashe and Annette work together to leave the castle and begin their journey to the south

Ashe had taken surprisingly little time to get his things together. He’d also offered to steal more food, chuckling when she told him to be careful. He had been a thief before and he assured her that the skills of the trade still came easily to him. He was right, and he managed to procure a good deal more than she had. She was grateful, but it was overshadowed by the ticking clock in her head. Even now as they sat in total darkness in her room, him on the floor and her perched on the edge of her bed, the tense silence was overwhelming.

The chime of a clock rang out. Annette counted. One… Two…

It finally stopped at twelve.

Midnight.

They locked eyes, hers searching for confirmation in his. Were they really doing this? He nodded, looking more certain than she felt.

They stood, shouldering their knapsacks in unison. He pushed open the door, Annette close at his heels. She didn’t mind him leading, after all he was much more experienced at sneaking around than she was.

They traveled quickly through the courtyard, pausing at every corner to watch for guards making their rounds. There were very few guards patrolling inside the castle grounds, but it was better to be careful. If they were caught now… Annette shuddered. She couldn’t think about that now. She had to focus on escaping.

She nearly crashed into Ashe’s back as he stopped short in front of her. She opened her mouth to ask him why they had stopped, but before she had a chance to speak she heard it too. Footsteps. Armored footsteps.

Guards.

Panic rushed through her veins and her breath caught in her throat. Ashe darted forward but Annette couldn’t move, rooted to the spot by fear. A rough hand grasped her arm, yanking her into the shadows of an alcove. She nearly tripped as she was pulled out of sight, but was steadied by Ashe’s hands on her shoulders. Her eyes closed as she tried to steady her breathing, her heart hammering against her ribcage. It was so loud she was sure the guard would be able to hear it.

With every step growing closer, she was sure they would be caught. But then...the sound started to trail off. They had walked right past the two of them, not noticing the pair huddled in the shadows.

Her nerves eased at every fading step and though they could only leave when the steps had faded entirely, Annette dared to open her eyes. The blue tunic that covered Ashe’s chest filled her vision. In her panic she hadn’t noticed exactly how close she was to him. Now, able to properly focus, she realized she was very nearly pressed against him. Her heart increased in pace again. She’d never been this close to him before. Her eyes flicked up to his face and she was surprised to find him looking down at her. Concern filled his gaze as his eyes held hers. Without making a sound, he very slowly mouthed the words “Are you okay?” All she could do was nod as her heart rate slowed. The whole situation was still nerve wracking but it was sort of comforting to know that he was there to help and protect her.

She watched, standing perfectly still, as he glanced to the side, scanning the area for any signs that someone was there. When his hands slipped from her shoulders and he took a step from their hiding place, she let out a breath. They hadn’t been caught. Of course, they weren’t completely out of danger yet, but they had avoided their first run in with a guard, and that was something to be thankful for.

Ashe took the lead again, and Annette followed as they hurried from shadow to shadow, never staying out in the open for too long.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally reached their destination. An abandoned passageway that led to outside the castle’s walls. Ashe had told Annette before they left her room that this would be their way out. He had stumbled upon it one day while exploring. Supposedly it had once been linked to several other passageways that went between the kitchens and the servants’ sleeping quarters. Now, however, it was virtually unused. Perfect for their escape route. Even so, they dared not light a torch, instead finding their way by the sporadic shafts of moonlight that spilled into the tunnel through cracks in the walls, illuminating their path in a hazy grey light. 

Annette kept one hand against the wall to her right, relying on her sense of touch as much as the intermittent moonlight to guide her. She could feel the coolness of the stone even through her thin gloves.

The tunnel twisted and turned, broken occasionally by stairways leading up or down. It was lucky that Ashe knew where they were going because Annette would have been hopelessly lost by this point. As it was though, they soon approached an old door that was warped by age. It was locked, of course, but that wasn’t a problem for Ashe, who made quick work of picking the lock. Frankly, at this point, Annette was certain that if she’d tried to escape without him she never would have made it out of the castle. Sure, she probably could have broken down the door by magic, but that would have caused quite a disturbance and she’d have to make a break for it. This was much more elegant. Quieter too.

As the door swung open, light spilled into the tunnel, illuminating the way they’d come from. Annette released a sigh as she took in the sight before her. The city stretched out a bit before the forest yes, but she could see the grass, silvery in the light of the moon, and the trees, branches rustling in the breeze. They had made it outside. She had never been more relieved in her life.

She’d also never been more afraid.

If she took this last step, she could never return. To the castle, to Faerghus, to her friends and family. This was her last chance to turn back. Fear gripped her as images of her friends, angry at her for leaving, flashed before her eyes.

“Annette?”

The voice was quiet, calm, and tinged with a touch of concern.

There, just a step ahead of her, now fully outside the tunnel, stood Ashe. His emerald eyes shone and his hand was extended toward her, an offering. To take it would be to leave everything she had ever known, but it would also mean forging a new path, one of her own choosing. She hesitated.

“Are you ready?”

The earnest look on his face was what finally loosened fear’s grip on her. She nodded, reaching out her hand to place it in his. She  _ was _ ready. No matter how much she wished she could, she could not go back to the blissful ignorance of her past. She could not stay. She had already made up her mind.

His grip was firm and comforting as they dashed through the winding back alleys and toward the tree line just outside the city. Just before they fully disappeared into the forest though, she paused, her hand slipping from his as she turned for one last look at the only home she had ever known.

Bathed in the light of the moon and the stars, the castle seemed luminescent and shining. Her breath caught in her throat, not at the beauty of the castle, but at the knowledge that this would likely be the last time she would ever see it. Tears pricked her eyes as she made note of every detail, etching it into her mind.

_ Please, watch over them for me. _

She made a silent prayer to the goddess, hoping that she would hear and protect her friends in her stead. With that she turned her back on the castle, and her former life. Brushing away a stray tear, she held her head high, and walked into the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a loooong time since my last upload but unfortunately I sunk into a pretty deep depression, exacerbated by the state of the world. But I'm finally getting better! I'm writing again! And I'm so excited to return to telling this story ^u^

**Author's Note:**

> Not really sure how long this is gonna be since I'm still working on it... If you like it let me know and I'll keep going with it though!!


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